Bad Day

4 min read

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funlakota's avatar
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Bad day today.  To make a long story short, I forgot to take my meds and tried to get thru work without them.  That didn't go so well.  My co-workers are a pretty critical bunch, and I guess I make a good target to vent at because I don't react.  I don't think I have the right to react or to tell them to stop.  (which is probably why they make fun of my health problems)  Let's just say I go home with LESS self-esteem than I when I came in almost everyday.

Anyways... couldn't handle today.    Too emotional.  I couldn't stop crying.  Which is freaking embarrassing.  I hate crying in front of others.  I had to go home early.  And now my co-workers know even more how screwed up I am... though I'm pretty sure they already had some idea.  Another piece of the puzzle falls into place.  

I don't know what's worse: the withdrawal or the stupid depression/anxiety/ADHD-PI symptoms coming back.  Well, okay the first two are always around, but still.  The meds did help keep them in check at least.  I don't cry nearly as much when I'm on my meds at least.

I really don't like myself.  And I really don't like myself being this way.  How can I when the only thing that keeps me somewhat normal is a bunch of pills?  How can I even be sure of anything when I'm on them anyways?  Because supposedly drugs are bad.  I dunno.  I feel closer to normal when I'm on my meds; I feel completely drugged when I'm not on them.   (I think people are just over-simplifying that "drugs are bad" thing anyways.)


Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.    It's too late to take my meds now-- they'll just keep me up at night-- so hopefully tomorrow will be better.   Also no work.

© 2013 - 2024 funlakota
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Bluestar3445's avatar
Where are those Co-Workers? *holds up a Baseball bat* I'll beat the daylights out of em! (just kidding)