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Duke
1 min read
Bad day yesterday. I had to put Duke down. He was sick Saturday with a GI bug but got better Sunday and Monday. Then he just went downhill fast Tuesday. Couldn't get up, was shaking, and developed a huge lump on his belly which wasn't there yesterday morning. He died in my arms around 10:45 PM. (Misty died the same way 5 years earlier.)
I think he was ready to go. He was pretty much falling asleep in my arms even before the emergency vet put him down.
I'm glad I had Duke in my life. I saved his life once back when he was sick with pneumonia, and he would go on to save mine. He gave me that push to get help when I needed it the most, pretty much gave me something to live for. I'm not going to waste that gift. Anyways the least I could do for him was let him go peacefully.
Rest in peace, Duke, and thanks for being there for me. I hope you have plenty of birds and other small animals to chase in heaven.
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The Year 2014 in Review (sort of)
6 min read
Long time, no see! (Are people still coming here?) Lots have happened since last year, and I've been too busy to come on regularly. Means I'm back after another hiatus.
I moved out! Now I have my own place. It's nice and now I don't have to listen to people (*cough* my parents) criticizing me all the time. I do that enough on my own. A major problem is that dad won't let me hire movers, so I'm not completely moved in and have a lot things still in boxes because I have nowhere else to put them. One room is pretty much nothing but boxes!
I moved out! Now I have my own place. It's nice and now I don't have to listen to people (*cough* my parents) criticizing me all the time. I do that enough on my own. A major problem is that dad won't let me hire movers, so I'm not completely moved in and have a lot things still in boxes because I have nowhere else to put them. One room is pretty much nothing but boxes!
I couldn't bring my dog though-- dad won't let me take him. 
It's a letdown because I picked out my apartment with Duke and his needs in mind. It's right next to the complex's dog park, and I can leave him tethered on the patio for a while too. Sometimes I bring Duke over, but I think it's hard on him having to get in the car. (He's an old dog and has very bad hips now.) I miss him so much. Even though all he ever does is sleep, eat, and "cuddle."
It's a letdown because I picked out my apartment with Duke and his needs in mind. It's right next to the complex's dog park, and I can leave him tethered on the patio for a while too. Sometimes I bring Duke over, but I think it's hard on him having to get in the car. (He's an old dog and has very bad hips now.) I miss him so much. Even though all he ever does is sleep, eat, and "cuddle." I have a new pet, a ferret! His name is Taz (after the Loony Toons character), and he's a sable color. Very sweet, playful, and friendly. And a huge trouble-maker! He's like a kid with severe ADHD! Into everything and has at most a ten minute attention span. My uncle got him for me because I was lonely without my dog when I moved out. I've had Taz about a month or two now. Taz was the last ferret at the pet store, so he was about 5 months old when I got him. He's a total spazz and lots of fun. He absolutely loves giving kisses and nuzzles. Very confident and adventurous. He quite literally took over my apartment in just two days! Very hard to litter train. He's not particular about where he goes when he's out of his cage. I love him. 
A few days ago I got a second ferret. Well technically I got her for mum, but she lives with me and Taz. Her name is K'Cee (pronounced like "Kacy"), and she's a fuzzy little baby... Literally. She's only about three months old. I think she's a silver panda color-wise-- I'm not that familiar with ferret colours or patterns so I might be wrong. She's even more playful and energetic than Taz! I never really noticed how slightly laid-back Taz is before getting her. They get along pretty well, but I can't keep them in the same cage yet because they fight since it's kinda small for two ferrets. K'Cee stays in Taz's old playpen with a sheet over it so she can't climb out... Which she figured out within 5 minutes of being put in there sans sheet. I lucked out with her just being hard of hearing instead of deaf the way a lot of white-headed ferrets are. Not that it matters-- she still doesn't listen!
It's a blast seeing the two ferrets play together. After Taz chewed thru the underside of my sofa and him constantly escaping areas I fenced off for him in the living room, I had to turn my bedroom into something like a playroom. (Their room is where I also keep all my unpacked stuff, so there's not a lot of space for them to run in there right now. They love to explore all the boxes though.) Anyways I let them loose every morning in my room and just watch them chase each other, play tag, and play with whatever ferret toys I leave out. They're so funny!
My health is about the same overall, I guess. I haven't had a DI flare-up in eight months! 
Go me! Asthma is somewhat bad. I think it's gotten a little better though. I don't wake up coughing too often anymore and sometimes my attacks can resolve on their own, as in they don't get worse. Still can't use my maintain acne meds too often due it making my hand tremors worse.
Go me! Asthma is somewhat bad. I think it's gotten a little better though. I don't wake up coughing too often anymore and sometimes my attacks can resolve on their own, as in they don't get worse. Still can't use my maintain acne meds too often due it making my hand tremors worse.Depression is still around; I like to think I'm getting better. At least it hasn't gotten worse. I'm thinking about changing meds because the Prozac hasn't really done the trick in helping me. It works in keeping the depression in check and from getting worse but not in "getting rid of it." (Yeah, I know there's more to recovery than taking a pill; antidepressants just help clinically depressed people get there sooner and, for some us, stay there.)
Anxiety is still bad, and I just can't get it to go away for long. I hate it. At least I'm not ill at ease all the time.
I hate it. At least I'm not ill at ease all the time. Ummm. The APD is awful and probably getting worse. I can't afford the treatment (speech therapy et al), and it's not covered by insurance. I just have to put up with the dumb disorder. It wouldn't surprise me if my ADD/ADHD-PI is part of the problem. My focusing is pretty inconsistent again. I either can't focus, can't stay focused, or I focus too much. Typical of the inattentive form of ADHD.
Allergies are the same. I'm still allergic to shellfish, dust, and pollen. As if those were going to change. Moving on.
Still no thyroid problems! That was always a possible complication from curing/treating my thyroid cancer, you see. Docs removed the tumor in surgery. But sometimes there's not a lot of the "good" thyroid left to keep working or the remaining thyroid overworks itself. It can certainly take a while for the remaining thyroid adapt anyways. The former happened to my aunt right after her surgery; it took about a year for her thyroid to make enough thyroid hormones again. Her thyroid levels are still a little below normal sometimes, just not enough to cause problems. Anyways my regular doc worries about my thyroid because I still have depression. Because depression can be a symptom of hypothyroidism, and some cases of treatment-resistant depression are related to hypothyroidism.
I guess that's about it. Hope all is well for everyone else!
~Lakota
I might come back later to reformat this entry better to make it easier to read. Congrats if you've read this entry as is!
~Lakota
I might come back later to reformat this entry better to make it easier to read. Congrats if you've read this entry as is!
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Finally Some Good News
1 min read
I just felt like updating with some good news. As of September 17th, I have a new cousin! Because one of my cousins got married. I've met my new cousin a few times before, which is more than what my mom can say. She's nice and I like her, but poor thing doesn't know the real me... just the mentally ill (messed up) me. =/ I hate to think how she feels about me then!!
Oh well. She can get to know the real me when I'm in remission.
Also thanks to everyone who offered condolences to me back in July. I really appreciate it.
Because one of my cousins got married. I've met my new cousin a few times before, which is more than what my mom can say. She's nice and I like her, but poor thing doesn't know the real me... just the mentally ill (messed up) me. =/ I hate to think how she feels about me then!! Oh well. She can get to know the real me when I'm in remission.
Also thanks to everyone who offered condolences to me back in July. I really appreciate it.
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Horrible News
1 min read
My uncle died today. It was just so sudden. I think I'm in shock because I can't even cry. I really want to though.
I hope the rest of my family's okay. I can't get in touch with them at the moment. It's probably harder for them.
It's just... horrible. I don't even know what to write.
It was just so sudden. I think I'm in shock because I can't even cry. I really want to though.I hope the rest of my family's okay. I can't get in touch with them at the moment. It's probably harder for them.
It's just... horrible. I don't even know what to write.
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Food Allergies Suck!!
4 min read
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